Which is more important to you in a partner: his or her looks, or their personality? This question undoubtedly means something different to everyone you meet, of all different ages and backgrounds.
Back in high school, you probably thought everyone was judging you based on your worst traits, such as your acne or braces, yet you probably had crushes on the people who were the nicest or the funniest. On the other hand, when you arrived in college, you began to receive mixed messages: as you were trying to find yourself, guys just wanted to hook up with the prettiest girls in town.
Now that you’re an adult, you’ve probably noticed that this question is not as simple as it may seem. Some people are going to extreme measures, such as complete mummy makeovers (like those offered by Dr. Ellis Choy), to get their perfect bodies; others seem happy just the way they are, in fulfilling relationships with other authentic people.
Thus, it’s safe to say that there is truly no definitive answer to whether looks or personality matter more in a relationship; however, here, I evaluate the pros and cons of each side of the debate so you can weigh the discussion for yourself.
Pro: Your looks are your first impression
One might argue that your looks are the most important feature because they are the first thing anyone will notice about you. At first glance, no one will know whether you are kind or intelligent or funny – but they will see if you have blonde or brown hair, if you’re tall or short and if you’re muscular or gangly. And, sad as it may seem, if a person doesn’t like what they first see about you, they’re not very likely to come up and learn more about who you truly are.
Con: Worrying about your looks is a distraction
Alternatively, someone who doesn’t worry often about his or her looks would probably argue that worrying about one’s appearance distracts from the important things in life. For example, would you rather spend an hour curling your hair or an hour reading a book that will teach you something new? Would you rather spend $10 on a dazzling new top or donate that money to charity instead? These are just some things to think about when it comes to worrying about your looks versus the more rewarding things in life.
Pro: Your looks make you unique
Many people are kind-hearted, love to cook or can finish an entire book in an hour or less – but how many people can say they have the exact combination of genes that you have? Unless you’re an identical twin, then you’re the only person with your unique DNA – and therefore, your appearance is completely different from anyone else’s on this planet! Whether it’s your freckles, your dimples, your auburn hair or your olive skin, the physical traits you got from your family are a huge part of what makes you who you are – and while we’re not discounting the value of personality, your looks are one of the only things about you that is truly 100% unique.
Con: Your looks change as you get older
Unlike your personality and positive traits, your looks are constantly evolving. Not only does your body change as you become older, but so do the styles and trends of the times. That means that in one decade, you might be considered more fashionable, and in the next, you could already be out of style. On the other hand, a great personality will never go out of style no matter how old you are or how much fashion trends change.
Whether you believe looks or personality matters more in a successful relationship, you can’t deny that there are pros and cons to each argument. While looks change, personality doesn’t – yet while your personality may be similar to someone else’s, no one else has your precise combination of DNA that gives you your unique physical features. Therefore, like anything else in life, the debate between looks and personality represents a give-and-take rather than a clear black-and-white answer.